Whatnot

it's funny how God works...lately two of the most common feelings on my heart are loneliness and quiet despair. I can calmly explain both of them, but it doesn't change that they are there. And in the midst of all of this for a few weeks God has been teaching me about contentment. It's been this conversation with God "My job doesn't pay me enough to cover the bills" "BE CONTENT" "there isn't enough time in my life for relationships...I don't know a lot of people" "BE CONTENT" and on and on. And I should be. I have a lovely loving wife who is consistently on the same page as me - we're partners in this thing 50/50. I have two wonderful boys who are so full of joy. Yesterday Leo insisted that I share his snack "I WANT to SHARE this with you daddy, please YOU EAT THIS." I attempted to feed cole, but as he sat on my lap he couldn't keep eating because every time our eyes met he started giggling (which is kind of new for him). So I stopped feeding him and we just sat and looked at each other...he squirmed and giggled for 10 minutes or more. Yesterday God spoke powerfully amongst our church family - I was blessed to be there in the company of family. So why am I not content? Why do I look for tomorrow?

now it's time to sleep. g'night y'all.